Eric J. Reid
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Words Once Spoken

All Databased Quotes


 

Catholicism to Scientology. I bet that’s going to be quite a journey.
        —Nobuff's Own Woman (WOS 16)

When you like, share with a guy… Sometimes they’re like… Guys.
        —Nickel Weed (WOS 16)

I’ve got more fanny packs than fanny.
        —Perspective (WOS 16)

I like her. She’s hot. I hope she’s off somewhere doing something with someone who looks like me.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

That’s just not competitive enough in today’s voyeuristic market.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

You've got to give it up for a career where you can be working at 1:09am, surrounded by the occasional knockout college girl in discourse, knocking back Irish Car Bombs, typing away in a sultry upstairs bar while listening to "Linkin Park meets East Indian techno" and various other sundry audible delectables.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

You know what daddy wants? Well, we're not going to go there. But…
        —Miss Construed (WOS 16)

It’s not enough for gangsters now to rule the streets, they have to rule the merchandising tie-ins.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

This is cool. Something 92 miles from Nashville is cool.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Yeah, I guess you can call it a symbolic victory. If the symbol is winning.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

You have a dirty mouth. Facially speaking. Not linguistically.
        —Perspective (WOS 16)

May your words be for love. May your laughter be for joy. May your struggles be for one another, And your love’s story one of wonder.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Who wants to be drop-kicked? Cuz y’all can just form a line right there.
        —Cool Fury (WOS 16)

There has been a steady wave of “Tuscanization” of all things in the past several years.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

He just domestically spied on you in public.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Once you go watermelon, you never go back.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 16)

I just tweaked on that nurdle and got jankety.
        —Jefferson Vagadasher (WOS 16)

Have you ever experienced his belly button?
        —Becstress (WOS 16)

You have to understand that the real danger does not lie in rubbing his nipples.
        —Porcine Sculptor (WOS 16)

I ain't stupid, I just talk funny.
        —J. Montes (WOS 16)

The poon keeps your head right. The ass makes you CRAAAAZY.
        —J.T. Elliot (WOS 16)

Your father has spoiled me for all these mediocre-looking men all these years.
        —Gwok (WOS 16)

I’m just saying that everything I’ve touched today has turned to molten shit.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

There are any number of things we can do to rectify this situation, but none of them will help.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

I didn’t so much agree to it as I proposed it.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

It’s man love. It feels GOOD.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 16)

He’s already exhibited his compass.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

The question is, can you harness the inspiration AFTER?
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 16)

I can barely handle this, and I enjoy this.
        —The Wooly (WOS 16)

I'm gonna Jew-slam it.
        —Philistine (WOS 16)

You're like the secondary ganzoid.
        —Bennett Doyle (WOS 16)

Even in a fantasy world, I think we will all agree this is absurd.
        —MauChurl (WOS 16)

This is a grudge monster. It's retaliatory DMing.
        —Silvery Sayer (WOS 16)

It's a pleasant experience. It's a flashback, like 'Nam, but less bodies.
        —MauChurl (WOS 16)

We've got a congo line of death.
        —Silvery Sayer (WOS 16)

Quit hitting me, dammit! I'm a prophet now!
        —MauChurl (WOS 16)

If you just bend over, you're not much of a prophet, you're just a loudmouth.
        —Bennett Doyle (WOS 16)

I'm like, um, Nature's face-man.
        —Raven (WOS 16)

PS - that was the voice of God.
        —Bennett Doyle (WOS 16)

Lumbering is not a friendly verb.
        —Bennett Doyle (WOS 16)

I worked for a nice car. He gave me a cow.
        —Matchfunk Oney (WOS 16)

It is mesmerotic space funk, definitely.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 16)

We all are born with different gifts. We aren’t all born with the stability that is taken for granted. Many of us borrow it. From different sources. But it is always taken for granted.
        —Heinlein (WOS 16)

Isn’t that a naturally plural word. Like moose?
        —Pasta Grimace (WOS 16)

Brazilians are money in the bank every time…
        —The Queensburry Catcher (WOS 16)

You guys down there are always good for some racist comedy.
        —The Queensburry Catcher (WOS 16)

He's the kind of guy who will get you thrown in jail with the very best of intentions.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

I don't think there should be a dash in your name unless you're from Africa.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 16)

32 is the number all men give as their magic number.
        —Matchstick Girl (WOS 16)

I just can’t see myself blowing glass dildos.
        —Recruiting Young Minds (WOS 16)

That's why I keep working with your brain scatterings, hoping one will stick.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

She’s an ATB – an all terrain baby.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

If you’re already lying down, you can’t fall.
        —The Sassy Adminstrator (WOS 16)

You ever seen frozen ice? Lord, it’s hard! It’s like liquid water!
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 16)

I’m a lot happier now that I’ve never had cancer again.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 16)

I’m sure you don’t get this a lot in your circles, but I’d like the short version.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Did you know that only 50% of bank robbers are ever caught? So, you and I should go rob some banks and see who gets caught.
        —The New Sweteness (WOS 16)

There's no middle ground for Germans.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Law enforcement knowledge? That's optional. You've got the badge, you know what to do.
        —Majere Mirror (WOS 16)

Listen. I've tried to be happy, tried to be slim. Neither one seems to be working out. Maybe it's time for a new approach.
        —Geluk (WOS 16)

That’s why I’m such an innovator. I skipped the rise and went straight to the fall.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

I shouldn’t. I really, really shouldn’t. But the thing is, I don’t live in the big picture. I live in the details. Moment by moment.
        —Mr. Big Time (WOS 16)

The funny thing about having a shaven head is how you can feel every, EVERY, little nerve tingle, question or sting as a hand skims across.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Welcome to the club of those who can no longer be trusted by the youth, nor can they get away with telling their parents they're still trying to "find themselves"…
        —The Queensburry Catcher (WOS 16)

I am ready to put my romantic eggs in other baskets.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Best not to break the veil.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 16)

Calibrese. That Jewish?
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Every state has a city where people go to die. For Kansas, it’s Topeka.
        —ManToy (WOS 16)

Sometimes getting better hurts.
        —Ian (WOS 16)

Synthesize! Synthesize! With all due haste!
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 16)

Don’t get me wrong. I get some wrong. But PURE WRONG, right on? I get that seldom…
        —Geluk (WOS 16)

This is 2 generations later and it still don’t make sense.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 16)

It’s nice to see you are inconvenienced by your own industriousness.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

I am like a panty liner for splinters.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

It takes a village to ruin our empire.
        —Directly Educating (WOS 16)

I always feel like I get that natural glow after sex in a hot tub.
        —Red (WOS 16)

No, I didn’t. But he did try to use it as a weapon of love against me.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

Women should not think they have the monopoly on making socially awkward statements.
        —Stretchy Celtic Kiwi (WOS 16)

Wow. I'm gonna hafta just die. Die. Go be dead somewhere.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 16)

Cigars are like a low-thumping bass to my nose.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

Cigarettes are like a bitchy, little third-grade cheerleader screaming up my nasal cavity.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

Nowhere on Earth is the YMCA an acceptable song anymore. Except with retards. Retards love this song.
        —Red (WOS 16)

I like good ole boys. I just don’t like their politics.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

It’s like a good fart – it stands on its own. Is it any good? You tell me.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

There are 2 kinds of worst people in the world: those who want what I have and those who need it.
        —Kid Rock Groupie (WOS 16)

However, THAT is a dead rabbit.
        —Leary (WOS 16)

I don’t remember it having teats, though.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

Pork, beer and chicks. That pretty much covers the four major food groups.
        —Majere Mirror (WOS 16)

I try not to hold a grudge but I can't say I'm very good at it.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 16)

Sweet! It's a Trans Am grave yard.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

My soul is depraved. And I love it.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 16)

That's the thing about me. I want my instant gratification now.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

I have to shit. I'll probably do it in my pants. And that's just bad news all around.
        —Under Discourse (WOS 16)

He's a little Weltish.
        —Nomad (WOS 16)

If he can get into mine, he can get into yours.
        —Porcine Sculptor (WOS 16)

Sometimes I just get to teaching to fast.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 16)

Bad taste is always in style.
        —ManToy (WOS 16)

You're just leading me down the primrose path of confusion.
        —Jbrained (WOS 16)

You know, the dentist who does the puppet shows.
        —Two-Pints Guvna (WOS 16)

I don’t care enough to be a bean connoisseur.
        —Wife of Floor Skinner (WOS 16)

You found my unexposed goat!?
        —Joe Flash (WOS 16)

That made me a huge lick recycler.
        —fat bottom provider (WOS 16)

How can two whisks disappear …you got all that from a shoe?
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 16)

You’re very observant, but only when it comes to cats.
        —Two-Pints Guvna (WOS 16)

I just want to serve in the least demonic capacity
        —Joe Flash (WOS 16)

This pipe’s just not made for liquid.
        —Two-Pints Guvna (WOS 16)

I have high cookie integrity.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 16)

Screw the rainbow, I want my hat back.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 16)

It came from the depths of the nasties.
        —Two-Pints Guvna (WOS 16)

Does the sound make you feel cold?
        —Joe Flash (WOS 16)

Choosing the spices is bigger than me.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 16)

Makes me feel like my armpits are choking
        —the quiet one until… (WOS 16)

What if fat was a condiment?
        —fat bottom provider (WOS 16)

Yup, that’s my dad, using his vacation time to seek out alternate energy sources.
        —The Baby Satter (WOS 16)

You mean as he blankets me with his flesh?
        —Two-Pints Guvna (WOS 16)

Does my forehead smell medicinal?
        —Two-Pints Guvna (WOS 16)

That’s why I was always babysitting on Friday nights…I couldn’t make a monkey penis.
        —The Baby Satter (WOS 16)

When you’re in Africa everyone watches you shower.
        —Miss AMEX (WOS 16)

I wanna be focused entirely on this project and feel like the studio is made of marshmallows and there are little bunnies hopping around.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 16)

Don't walk through my mind with your dirty feet.
        —Saluki (WOS 15)

I don’t eat anything that can taste me back.
        —Ringtop (WOS 15)

I’ve got to go to sleep with this head, you know.
        —Soul of McGee (WOS 15)

I can’t count. That’s why I’m in sales.
        —NoInCasa (WOS 15)

It just makes me want to jig in my thong(s).
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

We use Ostrich Technology to secure my company. If I can’t see you looking through my files, then you’re not there.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

Sheesh... MS Word says that's a 'fragmented sentence'. I got your fragment right here, Bill Gates…
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

He makes Mr. Rogers look like The Punisher.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

I was a better lover when I cared about people.
        —The Watcher (WOS 15)

It's hard to climb the ladder when you're busy climbing the pole.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

She’s a different kind of three-holer.
        —Under Discourse (WOS 15)

It took a long time to get your infection out of my head.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

Did you ever notice that Dr. Pepper has a subtle aftertaste of insecticide?
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

Friends are like trees. Some are tall, like the redwoods in California. Some are seasonal, like the ones that are amazing in the fall. But they’re all wonderful.
        —Fractalito (WOS 15)

There's no future in blue collar or pole dancing.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

Some days I just wash up on the shores of jade.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

You are like the Andes. You don’t come across them very often, but when you do, they’re huge.
        —Fractalito (WOS 15)

Ex-stripper, lesbian pre-school teachers give new meaning to Finding Nemo.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

Bikes are like a kid’s Doorway to Freedom.
        —Gaea (WOS 15)

I don’t keep track of corporate deaths. That’s not my department.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

Am I going to another funeral? I guess so. It’s a perk of the job.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

I’m a dollar store whore.
        —the acadienne canadienne (WOS 15)

Life is always one day at a time. Any more than that would be hard to fit into one day.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Listen, glass bottles are not a sustainable weapon for continued combat use. And I will go on the record with that.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Your new title should be Director of Defensive Marketing.
        —Disgruntled Coffee Break (WOS 15)

We kind of suck at the by-laws.
        —Stan Dard Van Guard (WOS 15)

He’s a zombie piñata.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

I am anti-butchering.(On a purely professional, liberal-I-wouldn’t-dream-of-judging-you basis, of course.)
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

But to your parents, whom you love, and who have helped you so often, you try perhaps hardest not to fall down.
        —Ian (WOS 15)

I have developed a real fondness for pickles. They are the only vegetable readily accessible in your refrigerator over time, kept fresh by a process I call “pickling”.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

See, it’s just better if I am always thinking about cunnilingus.
        —She Who Is The Virtue of Waiting (WOS 15)

It’s like being a vampire. Like, you die and then… Oh. Wait. No, it’s nothing like that.
        —She Who Is The Virtue of Waiting (WOS 15)

There are only so many dogs you can fit in the front seat of a Honda Civic.
        —Chinin Myrrh (WOS 15)

He's the worst kind of bad boy - cynical, sardonic and sneeringly disdainful.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

Well, most risen demons are really chipper.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 15)

This pistachio nut pudding looks good. Oh. Wait. That’s macaroni and cheese.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

Hey, the road to success is paved with failure. But then again, so is the road to failure.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

I smell dead people.
        —Ringtop (WOS 15)

I just noticed. Everybody's naming their new babies with last names; especially presidents.
        —Geluk (WOS 15)

Drunkenness can be beautiful like photography. The snapshot/synaptic-catchup moments can have perceptive intensity that really experiences where you are.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

Canada is the shit.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

The new tech grenade is also not a sustainable combat weapon when used as designed.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 15)

My kitty is tickling me.
        —KC Capers (WOS 15)

That man just injured himself on a pastry.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

I oscillate between rage, indifference, apathy, and depression. Occasionally, I enjoy myself.
        —Heinlein (WOS 15)

Yes, except Oregon. They do in fact control the entire world.
        —EDUBetterBeGood (WOS 15)

I prefer the term "sexual connoisseur" to "pervert".
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

This is sort of like a cropduster with a drunk pilot flying backwards... I'm not really sure if it's going to take off.
        —Stan Dard Van Guard (WOS 15)

Smell you later, housefrau.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

He is back-alley hero.
        —Hahn (WOS 15)

I need a cat. Male. Uncut. Now.
        —Oxnard Ramshackle (WOS 15)

I’ve never seen killing quite so thorough.
        —Hahn (WOS 15)

That pig can MOVE.
        —Cartok (WOS 15)

You WILL teach me, old man.
        —Raven (WOS 15)

Black has never been whiter than it is right now.
        —The Scarmaster (WOS 15)

Laugh it up, swineholt!
        —Felix Loman (WOS 15)

Chock it up to cultural differences. Hope this five hundred makes it alright.
        —Oxnard Ramshackle (WOS 15)

I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I woke up even stupider than normal.
        —She Who Is The Virtue of Waiting (WOS 15)

Wow. It’s like a flytrap for business cards.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

Is it just me, or does it bother anyone else when some old lady is asking you, “Do you take cream with that?”
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 15)

You can have some more lettuce if you eat some more pizza.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

I’d like to see if we can enjoy some mutual circadian rhythms during one night cycle.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

We don't want to feed the baby till it throws up, but we do want it to grow.
        —White Elder (WOS 15)

That reminds me of an amoeba I used to know. She split, and said, Hey, it’s good for me.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

By the time I’d let it cool, it was cold.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

That has got to be the worst testicle I’ve ever gotten my mouth around.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 15)

She nosed you like a fine Scotch.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I’m like a monkey with a tool, man.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 15)

In the land of Bedtimes, I have gone beyond.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

An ejaculation does not count as a beat, Brad.
        —Geluk (WOS 15)

No Brads were harmed in the making of this quote.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

Get out of my way, you motherloving piece of goat trash.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Pussy is the lowest common denominator.
        —The Scarmaster (WOS 15)

Make the beds ready! I shall go get my eyes.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I have a lot pressures. But I have no excuses.
        —Heinlein (WOS 15)

Bang the wife. Kill the wife. Make up with the husband. That’s what I always say.
        —kurtz (WOS 15)

It’s great when you can wince in any language.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I just don’t like bringing strange people to my house. --How do you know they’re strange? You don’t know them, you’re just having sex with them.
        —KC Capers (WOS 15)

It’s like, to hell with the baskets, really.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

Because you know, some clitorises are not man-shaped.
        —Shtuffy (WOS 15)

Hey, I’m shimmery.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

Prejudices should really be explored rather than just taken for granted.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

His brain is fun to dance around in.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

He’s just liberal for the chicks.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

I will say this. Princesses never become queens.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

I have led a life largely delivered from evil.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I’ve got to start doing something that pays.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

My interpretation of New York is a human zoo in a concrete jungle.
        —Callcenter Calla (WOS 15)

I’m a sucker for trucker drugs.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Never decorate on depression and an unemployment budget. You’ll come out with some mystifying shit.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

The ladies can’t resist the harmonica.
        —Cool Fury (WOS 15)

All I can say is that it’s been one rough fucking year by the Jewish calendar.
        —Lawrence (WOS 15)

You’re quite well-spoken for an American, aren’t you?
        —The English Girl (WOS 15)

I call it “boyfriend residue”. You know, like those certain songs; that one garment that you don’t know what to do with but can’t bear to throw away.
        —Special Fruit (WOS 15)

Perhaps the process of running abreast of alienation everywhere illustrates something.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

The boys locker room mentality has just become cell-enabled from the urinal.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

The first few seconds of a song determine if it is going to give one the excuse to flee the dance floor.
        —Lawrence (WOS 15)

I didn’t really make it out alive.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

There is fresh air; even when there isn’t.
        —Once and Future Mission (WOS 15)

He was the sort of guy to feel special for having received Eucharist in the Grand Duomo. It’s not like it’s that hard. I mean, they’re giving out the stuff for free.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

The epic just stains everything.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

You’re a hardcore athlete in the sport of pregnancy.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Make them almost all happy.
        —Once and Future Mission (WOS 15)

The newer one is older.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

Even pre-butt problems, you still stored a lot of shit in your ass.
        —Geluk (WOS 15)

There is some peace in seeing this dilemma. Perhaps it accepts the need to let go of dreams, foreseeing clearly never being able to live them out happily.
        —Lawrence (WOS 15)

Losing love is like driving further and further out of a radio frequency, still trying to hear a crackling song through mixed signals.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

The cycle is round.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

Convert work into pleasure.
        —Once and Future Mission (WOS 15)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Salvation comes for different people in different places. For some, it’s behind the wheel.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

Popular culture has taught me I can have everything, and believing it has cost me everything I own.
        —The Wooly (WOS 15)

Sometimes Mommy brings home the metaphorical bacon.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

There’s no rhythmic shit coming out my ass.
        —KC Capers (WOS 15)

I got myself a little curiosity about her calapigeosity.
        —Echt Niemand (WOS 15)

See, it’s kind of hard to party and be a Jew.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

If I’ve been viewed 2,552 times by women all over the world and I haven’t connected… Well, that’s a bad sign, tops.
        —Heinlein (WOS 15)

After working with hormonal 5th graders 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I just don't have the time or the patience for any type of emotional-fuckwittage.
        —CityGirl (WOS 15)

I will be taking care to avoid any glitter injuries before bed.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

I want you to chew my bacca.
        —Frida Gretchen Margaret (WOS 15)

It’s because anything that’s fried and has cheese is awesome.
        —Likened Cousin, Spice Removed (WOS 15)

People say they were scarred by childhood. I have been far more traumatized by my adult life.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Why? There are no why’s. We make the why.
        —Ian (WOS 15)

Screw you, you old goat chaser.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 15)

He's just trying to masturbate us again. I think I can feel a vague yanking.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 15)

We won't miss Bennett as much as you think. His skills can be duplicated by Tam and Hatchet...but without the attitude.
        —MauChurl (WOS 15)

Your guy is praying? You want to cast Bless? You can make it REAL instead of flapping your ass.
        —Silvery Sayer (WOS 15)

Chill out. Being a rager takes great discipline. With great power comes great responsibility.
        —Groklok (WOS 15)

What are you, Spiderman?
        —Hatchet Sweetfeet (WOS 15)

I don't think that an evil character in our party would work well. You really like evil, don't you? I think...don't you think that you are, in your deep soul, evil in real life? What do you think?
        —Groklok (WOS 15)

All of your words are nothing. They don't mean anything.
        —Hatchet Sweetfeet (WOS 15)

Well, that's the problem with belief systems. They can be shattered in one chaotic moment.
        —Groklok (WOS 15)

Oh, deux ex machina! FINALLY!
        —Groklok (WOS 15)

I'm feeling a hate crime coming on right now.
        —Silvery Sayer (WOS 15)

In the real world, if you get hit with a machete, there’s a moment when you stop and say, “My GOD, I’ve been hit with a machete!”
        —DC Central Zombie Survivor (WOS 15)

I’ve gotta go build a sheep empire this weekend.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I just came back to share your hand with you.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

If you get her naked, I’ll feed her.
        —Da Tuttle (WOS 15)

Those Jews, they’re hard to nail down.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

I mean, you get your hands on a German at about sixteen years old, and you’ve got your hands full.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 15)

We Germans, you know, we pay tribute, but we don’t go all the way with those Irish.
        —Gwok (WOS 15)

Ahh… Everyone remembers their first pepper gas experience.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

It was like Saving Private Ryan for girls.
        —Heinlein (WOS 15)

I try to err on the side of relativism.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

I don’t have the time, energy or support to take anti-depressant drugs. So, I will stick with the more readily available and socially acceptable ones.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

It’s on its way to being a yodel.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

You want tickets to the GUN show??? [Insert a kiss to the arm flex here.]
        —Zhuici (WOS 15)

I just put my tongue in to keep it from coming until it’s ready.
        —Zhuici (WOS 15)

I am torn between alternate worlds of eraser nipples and jungle sex.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Men and women complicate each other because they are exactly the same.
        —Zhuici (WOS 15)

You know, there’s also whiskeyclit. Like, dead fish, okay?
        —Zhuici (WOS 15)

If there’s grass on the plain, it’s play ball, you know what I mean?
        —Zhuici (WOS 15)

Does this make me look dead?
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

You mean like tag team stalking?
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

I accept input as long as you’re putting in.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

That’s Reason Number 178 not to be involved in shady drug deals.
        —Stan Dard Van Guard (WOS 15)

Wouldn't it be funny if Darth Vader had a coffee mug that said, “Galaxy's Greatest Dad”?
        —Electric Boy (WOS 15)

My dad conquered the galaxy and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
        —Dynamic (WOS 15)

You told me to keep you updated. Just so you know, I am working with my weight integrated buoyancy compensator.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

That just goes to show you should never marry a woman who knows too much about temples, huh, Dad?
        —Loki's Little Cherub (WOS 15)

You’re never too small to be shot.
        —Loki's Little Cherub (WOS 15)

Scars are ripe for the proverb-making.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

Shtick rocks.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

Mmm...stalkables. what a great term I just coined..
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

I just experienced the shocking realization of knowing other people I pretend don’t exist have poured over these same words with eyes and mind and imagination enthralled. Books, like the moon, can force you to realize you are entwined to others, no matter where they are.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

What kind of flowers do you send for a broken dick?
        —Java Girl (WOS 15)

These are the sorts of things that stick in your mind when you are melting a urinal cake.
        —Stan Dard Van Guard (WOS 15)

When I have my penis in my hand, it’s not a good time to strike up new friendships.
        —Stan Dard Van Guard (WOS 15)

You don’t want to cross paths with the other guy who was shitting when you were.
        —Nordic Nonchalance (WOS 15)

I’m on antihistamines. I can’t be held responsible.
        —Soul of McGee (WOS 15)

But I forgot I was in America and I'm not Britney spears.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

I just want to make sure… right now… that you are mentally sound.
        —Saluki (WOS 15)

Tic-Tac. It’s like the small guy who will never come, and wants to spend the night.
        —Ms. Spy (WOS 15)

You can work at love but you can’t make yourself fall into it.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

It’s been a long time since I’ve been chased by Asians.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

I’m finding that women are… A big disappointment. (Perhaps the feeling’s mutual.)
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Our new slogan should be: “You’ve got questions? So do we.”
        —MeatGrinder Platoon (WOS 15)

Belinda Carlisle is a sheep singer.
        —the acadienne canadienne (WOS 15)

I don’t think a sane health care plan and gay rights is terrorism. Yet.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

You know. I'm hot, you're hot. And we'll have sex to show we don't care about each other. Just to show you what you’re missing.
        —Mending Borders (WOS 15)

By the way, 2 weeks of vaca is not supposed to mean 2 weeks of cow. I thought I should say so, in case there was any confusion.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

Watch out or I will sit on your face and I haven’t shaved and you won’t like it.
        —Coc Kim (WOS 15)

I was hideous, seriously. You wouldn’t let your dog fuck me.
        —Coc Kim (WOS 15)

By the way. I wish you great luck with your new venture. I’m sure you will make it a success. I only have one question… Who is going to protect me now?
        —The Middle Man (WOS 15)

I mean... It’s nipply outside even when its not nippy outside.
        —the acadienne canadienne (WOS 15)

I love me my Yoda.
        —Misseyes (WOS 15)

So this guy was plastered, and he and his buddy go outside and prop their arms up against a barn to pee. And one turns to the other and says, “Hey, can you tell me when I’m done?”
        —The Middle Man (WOS 15)

I would rather just be with a girl who recognizes that she has emotional needs.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Make-up sex and angry sex are usually two totally different things... Except when makeup sex actually is a transition of the same angry sex. Which is the exception to the earlier rule.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

You don’t want to be mesmerized by the bullshit.
        —White Elder (WOS 15)

Fuck that canoe. It’s a metaphor for life.
        —35 Tulips (WOS 15)

Man cannot live on mudslides and electrocution alone.
        —Koala Cat (WOS 15)

No, man, it’s tough being black.
        —Vaughn Masters (WOS 15)

I’m not opposed to PDA – I just prefer to be involved.
        —The Watcher (WOS 15)

Scrotum is a theme.
        —ManToy (WOS 15)

And then sometimes break-up sex is that rational, reasonable, mature response of both of you realizing it really was best to go your separate ways, but for crying out loud, you're going to miss the sex, so why not just get one more before you're out the door?
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

I would say “pay special attention to the balls” because this will be the last time they’ll be all yours.
        —ManToy’s Old Man (WOS 15)

Oh, man. I’ve got carpal tunnel from stacking all my chips.
        —That Southern Gentleman (WOS 15)

I want my illusions back!
        —Two-Who-Pledges (WOS 15)

It wasn’t good coffee. But it was a good coffee experience.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I’m don’t know about that. I think I will let time just flow and see.
        —Electric Boy (WOS 15)

My daughter just became my George Michael move-buster proxy.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 15)

I think lust is where it all starts.
        —35 Tulips (WOS 15)

It’s like a meth lab for coffee.
        —Cool Fury (WOS 15)

Oh, yeah, man. Anytime anybody gets laid, that’s a good time.
        —Young Bucks of Training (WOS 15)

That was a good movie. No impregnating truck drivers, though, which may have been its downfall with the award nominations.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

They called me Master Yoda. I was their master. I didn’t like it very much, but I lived to play with them.
        —Electric Boy (WOS 15)

Cell phones are like urban walkie-talkies.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

My new rule is whenever I try something and it makes me want to eat myself, I should probably buy it.
        —35 Tulips (WOS 15)

The moral of that story is: don’t wait on beer.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

The annoying thing about freedom is the amount of time it takes to make it work to your advantage.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

It was a fiesta of implication.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

I don’t sweat. I hydrate the surrounding terrain.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Ok, your family invented the English language. Before that, we all just stood around and stared at each other.
        —Ringtop (WOS 15)

Damn. I hoped I was better than your local stalkables.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

I guess things are pretty slow in nunville.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 15)

Everything your father says is not worthy of worldwide recognition.
        —Gwok (WOS 15)

Every landing is a controlled crash.
        —White Elder (WOS 15)

It’s like Sonic for Ramen.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Death by bling. Ouch.
        —Cairo (WOS 15)

Well, some crazy shit happens when you’re drunk.
        —35 Tulips (WOS 15)

That lighted princess carriage is hideous. It’s exactly like Carmen Electra.
        —Smoking Democrat (WOS 15)

Be careful. Watch out, lady, this wood is soft.
        —Saluki (WOS 15)

The perfect man would have Prince’s and Yoda’s mind, Lenny Kravitz’s body, and Carlos Santana’s and Bob Marley’s spirituality.
        —Misseyes (WOS 15)

It’s poker at the insane asylum.
        —That Southern Gentleman (WOS 15)

Wait. You mean someone has to pay for me to watch?
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

See that? The reflexes of an REM fan.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

Figured it sounded better than, “Yeehaw, you eStud!"
        —Capitalizing Venturist (WOS 15)

It would be different if we had an arrangement. But here's the deal. I'm not an everyday guy.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

Somebody – light your hair on fire.
        —Smoking Democrat (WOS 15)

Old, dead, blind and black is very hot right now.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I want a ticket to the Yimmy and Jugs hot tub show.
        —Smoking Democrat (WOS 15)

Hey. I’m working the jug here.
        —Cairo (WOS 15)

Yeah, well, I used to be the funny one. Then I married YOU.
        —Smoking Democrat (WOS 15)

No, I love the actor… but I’m just saying… to me, he acts as a foil to everyone else.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

Any more hair on the chest than that and you’d have to do manscaping.
        —DB Steve (WOS 15)

Evil people only like attack dogs… And cats.
        —Geluk (WOS 15)

Better to have done it wrong than to have sat on your ass scared of doing it wrong. That’s your insurance clause for “everything’s possible”, don’t ya see? Most people don’t have the spiritual finances to back that kind of premium.
        —Jules 2 (WOS 15)

Life’s a lot like those trains you were telling me about in Holland. You have to remember to be on time for the train to Amsterdam, be ready for getting off at Amersfoort to board for Rotterdam so that you can get off early and reach your destination of Utrecht.
        —Jules 2 (WOS 15)

And, I don’t mean no tip-toeing through the tuplips, either.
        —Vincent 2 (WOS 15)

Listen, I’ve got to go to Parents’ Fair Share.
        —Novel Ideas (WOS 15)

This is my Pavarotti cowboy song.
        —Irish Soul Man (WOS 15)

I hate it when my appliances talk back.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I’m a little like a sumo - but with a little less belly and a lot less muscle. There are trade-offs.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I’m a sucker for Brussel sprouts.
        —35 Tulips (WOS 15)

This is my Christ pose. Whaddya think?
        —Heinlein (WOS 15)

There’s always a little IRA in the building.
        —Irish Soul Man (WOS 15)

I thought it was Irish aerobics.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Hey, you. You’re way too married.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

I have a keen sense of the obvious. (And this is just one of those things.)
        —She Who Is The Virtue of Waiting (WOS 15)

I’m gonna fall asleep if I don’t start drinking.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

It’s always like that; you get something out and it’s a buttload of incoming.
        —She Who Is The Virtue of Waiting (WOS 15)

When I eat at McDonalds, I feel like a new superhero called Captain Sodium.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

You know – the serial killer that sounds like a sandwich.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

He's in the complaint business. It's a growth industry.
        —White Elder (WOS 15)

Ahhhh. Water – nectar of the gods. Well… Maybe not. But it could be the antidote.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

Well, did you look, or did you just holler?
        —Somebody's Mother (WOS 15)

I was a vegetarian for eight years. Then I got hungry.
        —35 Tulips (WOS 15)

We’re all in trouble when the Methodists start revolting.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

We want to know to what lengths they went to secure their humiliation.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 15)

You know, she’s one of those angry underwear models.
        —35 Tulips (WOS 15)

Man, I never get the credit for things I don’t make up.
        —The Lesbian And The Straight Guy (WOS 15)

You never know when the penguin is listening.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 15)

You always perk up at The Hooters.
        —Da Tuttle (WOS 15)

TNT is the beatch, isn’t it?
        —Gwok (WOS 15)

Undead are sort of like pizza. Even when they’re bad, they’re usually kind of good.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

It doesn’t take that much to invest heavily in India.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

I can drink through the whole week if I have to.
        —Hothouse (WOS 15)

Tater tots are like mobile hash browns.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Not me. I place a high value on idle hands.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

What can I say? You evoke clichés.
        —hg (WOS 15)

I bet no one ever stopped dating you because of the sex, huh?
        —Red Researcher (WOS 15)

That’s good enough… Damn near make a man forget the sticky on his shoes.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

Large print giveth, small print taketh away.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

You been busier than a 2-peckered goat.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

No shame in a booster chair, man.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

They all saw what Rock ‘n Roll audiology MEANS, my friend.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

Well, you know, you make your bed, you lie in it. I mean eventually you get up and leave, but still…
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

It’s those damned Euros. They’re attacking our culture with that Bob the Builder.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 15)

That’s pretty much my whole philosophy on life – You can drink your way through it.
        —Hothouse (WOS 15)

Sometimes you had to walk on your hands if you didn’t have legs.
        —Cool Fury (WOS 15)

I’m going to go sit on your couch and let it eat me.
        —Henrietta (WOS 15)

At some point I decided… If I’m going to feel like such shit doing this, I’m going to be doing this fewer hours per day.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

What’s it matter if I try or not? Hmmm… What would it be like not trying? I never tried not trying.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

It turns out that we think I have the “Jumping Frenchman of Maine Disorder”.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 15)

Chicken quotes follow me.
        —Soulful Irish (WOS 15)

She sucked on my brain cells when she was developing.
        —Two-Pints Guvna (WOS 15)

No, sorry, you’ll have to pick something you don’t want for us not to deliver it.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 15)

I COULD live in a yurt. But I will do with a yurt to visit on occasion.
        —The White Dove (WOS 15)

From time to time I’ve been known to pop up and squeeze your inner lobe.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

That needs to go on my chicken fridge.
        —Soulful Irish (WOS 15)

Most of the yurts we’ve looked into (in our yurt shopping) are not house-appealing.
        —ManToy (WOS 15)

There’s nothing worse than getting a duck when you were wanting a chicken.
        —Soulful Irish (WOS 15)

…So, back to the yurt.
        —ManToy (WOS 15)

You never forget how to ride a bicycle. It’s the same with beer.
        —A Sage of Dowd (WOS 15)

Proposing is almost like an out of body experience.
        —Saluki (WOS 15)

You know all guys have this point of drunkenness where we start to sound like sportcasters.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 15)

People who have babies are great. I mean, you know, they’re parents. But have you ever tried to sit down and get through a conversation with these people?
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

You’re NOT the boss of my workshop, DAD.
        —Loki's Little Cherub (WOS 15)

The closest I get to sitting still and thinking is when I’m driving a long time to somewhere else.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I could explain it, but it would take five years, so just do it.
        —Ucitelka the Jazyk Mistress (WOS 15)

I feel a sudden new resurgence of The South.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

You know, discerning thing about chickens is…
        —Soulful Irish (WOS 15)

Don’t deny the groove thing.
        —Down to Earth Countries (WOS 15)

Sometimes the infinity of possibility doesn’t seem enough.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I’m one of those people who tries to be reliable but isn’t.
        —Queen of Cups (WOS 15)

I’m going into Saluki overload here.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

You know you want ‘em. And you know they’re below the dough.
        —Clinton Auctioneer (WOS 15)

Oh, that note? At one time it was a week’s menu. Then it just became a reminder that I should cook – or at least eat prepossessed frozen food.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

It’ll be a cold day in hell when I recognize Missouri as a state.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

She put cocaine in my massage oil, I’m telling you.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

When you are over, you keep forgetting.
        —Ian (WOS 15)

It came by its wang honestly is what you’re saying.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

There’s a lesson there to keep some of the cheaper stuff around for those female urges… Like to cook something with bourbon.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 15)

You can’t run over love.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 15)

Speaking of slapping it around, I get to go to the bathroom.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

They actually have this feral pig in a pen with piglets and boars coming over for conjugal visits?
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

Yeah, they’re like the chicken of the trees.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

In fact, their whole island’s on an island.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

Puerto Rico is where you go for fish and malls.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

You mean in the dining evolution there was no layover at chopsticks or anything?
        —LA3 (WOS 15)

That’s my roommate. He’s laidback. Very cool. Would sell me out in a minute. Love him.
        —Some Guy At Perkins (WOS 15)

He is the common man’s Hugh Grant.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

This whole mission has been rather aimless. Like an Easter Egg hunt back in Hell.
        —RRUnited (WOS 15)

Dude. Clingy’s good in a waitress.
        —Perspective (WOS 15)

The incense overtakes me.
        —Henrietta (WOS 15)

I’m sure if you grew something, you’d touch it.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I think drunkards are pretty innocent.
        —Henrietta (WOS 15)

That’s when you take the summer off and DON’T go to Tallequah.
        —Geluk (WOS 15)

There’s good crazy and bad crazy. Surround yourself with good crazy. Don’t hang out with bad crazy.
        —Henrietta (WOS 15)

He already saw it because we’re all asses.
        —Nickel Weed (WOS 15)

It deals with the supernatural in a non-natural way.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 15)

I’ve got to write down these pearls you swine have passed on to me.
        —The QuoteKeeper (WOS 15)

You even get to take a break from an obsession once in awhile.
        —Henrietta (WOS 15)

What do I think of her being pregnant? Well, it’s great! It’d be awfully hard to have a baby if she weren’t.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

You can’t infect yourself when you’re already infected with yourself.
        —Ian (WOS 15)

But when we cease to dream, everything is merely illusion.
        —Ian (WOS 15)

Hair products are cool.
        —Lupine Lifeline (WOS 15)

It takes a special kind of Jew to sing Ludacris.
        —ManToy (WOS 15)

It happens in the light.
        —ManToy (WOS 15)

Don’t hate the hater. Play the game.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 15)

Bag pipes have a really unique sound. Like a chainsaw going through a duck.
        —The Balladeer (WOS 15)

I don’t want to be with a bald man. Does that make me shallow?
        —The Eye In the Storm (WOS 15)

My vagina has a lot of tissue I don’t need.
        —Scotch Oklahoman (WOS 15)

It was rippling with dissonant irony.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

It may be madness but it is NOT folly.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 15)

Line dancing is like masturbating.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

I’m a goddam queer. Go dance with her.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

They used not to know what to do with crazy people. So they’d chain them to a wall without any clothes on… There are people who’ll pay good money for that now.
        —The Balladeer (WOS 15)

My job is kind of like juggling sand in a sandstorm.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

The problem with those goth guys is when they bury their face in the pillow, they leave all that makeup on it. What, am I fucking Gene Simmons?
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

My choo-choo is gone. It’s past.
        —Henrietta (WOS 15)

My job is kind of like playing Galaga all day long. But you have rocks instead of space canons. And you have to make the rocks yourself.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 15)

This salad looks good. Oh. Wait. That’s pasta.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

Who wants to come to a trucker party? I’m driving!
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 15)

I cannot take care of babies. I can only walk around in circles and drink beer.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 15)

Oh, my stupidity will not stop the truth.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

That’s because I rubbed her.
        —35 Tulips (WOS 15)

I don’t want to hum. I can’t whistle.
        —Random Bonfires (WOS 15)

That’s total rejection… When you can’t even get yourself off.
        —Red Researcher (WOS 15)

I am pretty accustomed to getting my way with myself.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I’m pretty much good as long as there’s a cock involved.
        —Scotch Oklahoman (WOS 15)

Some of my best friends are racist.
        —KC Capers (WOS 15)

Oh, that guy DOES have teeth.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

So, gastro-intestinally, you’re almost there.
        —CO (WOS 15)

What Would Jared Do?
        —the dark penguin (WOS 15)

I’m going to call in beleaguered.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I’m going to be a beer-drinking target… That’ll make me easier to hit.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

I make Coke-ham.
        —CO (WOS 15)

My cheeks, my cheeks, I’ve lost control of my cheeks!
        —Midnight in the Garden of Chaos and Weasels (WOS 15)

Pharmatherapeutical protocols are the norm in Alpheville, citizen.
        —Midnight in the Garden of Chaos and Weasels (WOS 15)

There’s some dadgum chemical reaction going on right now.
        —Midnight in the Garden of Chaos and Weasels (WOS 15)

I don’t need your help, you red fuckstick. I can read it myself.
        —Midnight in the Garden of Chaos and Weasels (WOS 15)

I’m not going into those wolfy crevasses.
        —Bennett Doyle (WOS 15)

That wasn’t a MANT hold, it was pain compliance.
        —Dr. Theodore Strange (WOS 15)

God was the first real granola, really.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

I’ve got my own little dipthong.
        —KC Capers (WOS 15)

We’ll talk about that later. When you’re older or more dead.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

I can pick up all sorts of shit with my toes.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 15)

I’m like the god of the crickets. Except I don’t like them like God likes people.
        —KC Capers (WOS 15)

Sex is like a pat on the ass.
        —The Indomitable French Scientist Maiden (WOS 15)

We’ve got some trans fats here.
        —Geluk (WOS 15)

Mmm… Eighty percent chance of getting some gastro-intestinal anomaly.
        —Nomad (WOS 15)

Dominate us with your ideas.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

I’m not going to stop it till you go!
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 15)

Oh yeah, you wouldn’t know, Angel Eyes, because you’ve never even seen it.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 15)

I like these cowboys who appreciate a little calf.
        —Sesame Side (WOS 15)

It was one of those bathrooms that’s been sanitized to smell like Froot Loops.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 15)

I don’t recommend painting your dining room naked. It’s like frying bacon.
        —Red Researcher (WOS 15)

Scrubbing your nipples is not a pleasant experience, I’m telling you.
        —Red Researcher (WOS 15)

I’m all about dominating. It’s a thing that I do.
        —MizLaughing the Unstoppable (WOS 15)

Let’s just say bacon. Greasy and if you have too much, you get sick.
        —Fight Club (WOS 15)

I have all kinds of crazy face-control.
        —Bobthulu (WOS 15)

I’m always centrally located.
        —MizLaughing the Unstoppable (WOS 15)

I’m such a bad cook, I’ve been known to burn water.
        —Braids (WOS 15)

I can find a lot of things for you to do. Woman-wise.
        —Buddychick (WOS 14)

You make movie stars of people.
        —The Original M-CIW-D-CIW-I-i-Net+-MCSD (WOS 14)

Many people say appreciating classical music requires a certain maturity. Now that I've aged to being sufficiently emotionally disturbed, I find myself better able to appreciate it as beautiful nonsense, like a reflection of the world. A parade of the absurd. Maybe that's what they mean.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

I have to muster apathy.
        —Renny Cashier (WOS 14)

What is it about night that does this to me? Why will this never be recorded? Why will this sink into the nothingness of memory?
        —Lawrence (WOS 14)

College books just turn me on.
        —Lawrence (WOS 14)

I have mixed feelings about the loss of the human guinea pig gig.
        —Gwok (WOS 14)

Cuz that's the fatalistic moment at which you are forever now.
        —Prashanth II (WOS 14)

I started working so early, I had to change my own diapers.
        —Bob Herself (WOS 14)

It is imperative that you see the wang.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

What does 'pale blue collar' mean? Is he shoveling coal into the furnace that powers a Xerox machine or what?
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I'm the High Beastess.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

Rene Descartes was just the Zoolander of his time.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

There's nothing quite like feeling like a mack truck.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

Goatees really only work for guys without discernible features. You know: clump-face.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

Goatees stylize a face that really had nothing going for it in the first place?
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

It's not like there aren't things going on in beer.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I was shuttling all around, but not outside of the box. I needed out.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

There's just no getting around it -- scotch always has a wang to it.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I am enjoying the Pageantry of Life.
        —Lawrence (WOS 14)

I've got enough character to start a whole 'nuther person.
        —Renny Cashier (WOS 14)

When you let guys vacuum, anything's possible.
        —Compulsive Manager (WOS 14)

Men disparage. It's what we do.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

As you get older, you start to see more people who make you think of unplaceable people you once knew.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

My best chance of surviving you is if I can forget you ever existed.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

We sold out every night in europe.
        —Two-Pints Guvna (WOS 14)

You know, like when you're too cool to be anything but an acronym.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

It was totally Ground Hog Day. Every day in the van, going, your life becomes just getting to the next town on time, every day.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 14)

I just bring out your juxtapositions.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

And the DJ found that magic song, at that magic point in the evening, and the nervously desolate dance floor was awash with happy, reclaiming revelers.
        —The Watcher (WOS 14)

Using the force of your will to pretend you are your own umbrella will not keep you from getting pneumonia.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

Well, you know, if the lubrication fits…
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

His mother found his childhood carnage?
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

I will kill you until you die from it.
        —Jay Dylan the Town Schrinky (WOS 14)

It's a book on homophobia and its systemic evils. Good stuff. Like pork chops and bacon, if you know what I mean.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

A man said to me once, "Women all seem to want men who treat them badly. I feel like if I treat a woman well, she will leave me." And I said, "Well, let's say that's true. Every woman in the world will abandon you if you treat them decently. Will you?"
        —Gaycynic (WOS 14)

Some days you want to build or create. But some days you just can't get far enough away.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

That bourbon tastes like Atchison smells.
        —The Indomitable French Scientist Maiden (WOS 14)

Details are forthcoming as they come forth.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

Yes, I am money, there is no denying it. The bank account and debts are mere technicalities which certain types might choose to read to the contrary, but the beauty of faith is its transforming power to claim its own reality.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

Well, you know, you have to try everything once. Then, well… Again.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

I am becoming a human filter for alcohol.
        —Mr. Barleycorn (WOS 14)

My heart is not for sale anymore.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

I prefer to have a receptacle for my lust.
        —The Watcher (WOS 14)

Don't carry the two. It's always a mistake.
        —Cool Fury (WOS 14)

Religious salvation is a morally flawed concept.
        —Ian (WOS 14)

Why does God want a basket of eggs? What's he going to do with it?
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

Don't be such a hair tyrant.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

My mom's one of those Russian, beret-wearing, boiling-water-drinking type people.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

Funny how romance comes in spurts.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

That's sick-witted.
        —Cool Fury (WOS 14)

When I go to the Big House? I am expecting my own house. I don't do "community living".
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 14)

Light and subtle, but "wafting" over the meadow may to be too strong a verb.
        —Gwok (WOS 14)

You don't want to ever forget it, and no woman does, either. I have my sausage.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 14)

He turned up his French nose at it, but then he opened up his mouth... And drank.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 14)

You smoked all that crack and didn't save me any?
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 14)

I don't smoke. I can't say that word.
        —Lofted Voice the Oktoberfest Girl (WOS 14)

Your passing days are over, boy.
        —Nickel Weed (WOS 14)

She's very vain. I like that in a woman.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 14)

I am trembling inside... I feel not quite faint but approaching the periphery of reality.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

First, believe the best about people. Second, never trust them to do what they should.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I'd like to be here when the plumber gets here so I can cast him evil glances.
        —Gwok (WOS 14)

I'm just curious if you'd have time to trim my naked ears.
        —Gwok (WOS 14)

I am not high maintenance. People just look at me and make that assumption for some reason.
        —Christmas (WOS 14)

That liquor-then-beer, beer-then-liquor stuff... It's like nursery rhymes for adolescents.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

Dammit, where did I go?
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

I began to see that I was a non-exempt temp emp.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

Let's play crotch scrabble.
        —KC Capers (WOS 14)

No problem. Every woman's gray hair needs rubbing once in awhile.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 14)

You know, when you get to a certain age, and you've been around the barn a few times.. You should be able to be yourself.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

You know, I see what you're saying about women supposed to live up to this whole "nympho-around-the-house" thing.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I'm thinking that you and I are really fairly different from each other. But I was thinking that we could be sort of like Samuel L. Jackson. You know, get into adventures together, " like Cain in Kung Fu."
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 14)

I do not heal by standing around and picking at the scab. You put a fucking band-aid on it and leave.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

No one I know pees more than me.
        —Christmas (WOS 14)

Nobody stays poked. And we shouldn't. If we did, nobody'd keep poking us.
        —Christmas (WOS 14)

I'd rather be appreciated than respected.
        —vuurcatalyst (WOS 14)

I'm surprised he even got a picture of you, with your cat-like reflexes.
        —Tennessee Skins (WOS 14)

He clicked that bad wammer jammer and I was on the ceiling.
        —Submarine Comedian (WOS 14)

We essentially are doing nothing. And getting paid better not to do it then they are to do it.
        —KC Ground Sergeants (WOS 14)

What is it about men that makes us think we can outpee the flush?
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

It's awfully early in the morning to be using your tongue that way.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

You can't have too good an opinion of yourself. You just can't leave something like that to other people. Well, you can, but it wouldn't be very wise.
        —All-Knowing, All-Unhearing (WOS 14)

The sody will live on forever.
        —Kernel Com64 (WOS 14)

There's a lot of talent in Texas. And in this bar.
        —Prowling Educators (WOS 14)

She had a 0 Wildness Quotient.
        —Lone Amazon Star (WOS 14)

Caricature. I don't like that word. It's like a character gone bad.
        —Tex Van Dyke (WOS 14)

You mustn't procrastinate about forgetting.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

I get the most quotes, because I'm always there for them.
        —The QuoteKeeper (WOS 14)

Curling up inside yourself? Oh, like an implosion for kids.
        —Tex Van Dyke (WOS 14)

This is a nun wannabe that needs cloistering. And I'm the monk.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 14)

I'm thankful that my husband has a job and I don't.
        —The Sassy Adminstrator (WOS 14)

So true love is the absence of murder.
        —Gwok (WOS 14)

I want you to read about sheep manure here, honey.
        —Agent Peludo (WOS 14)

I'm already past it and I haven't even done it yet.
        —Nobuff's Own Woman (WOS 14)

Okay, Okay, so I was injured in a freak olive jar opening accident. It happens.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

He's a big enough guy that I wouldn't feel comfortable bushwacking him with a baseball bat.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 14)

That's going to be a pain in my psychological butt.
        —Shatterbox (WOS 14)

Wasabe is like a circumcision for your nose.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

LIfe is all about the endless search for cognitive comfort.
        —PhD in Exploitation (WOS 14)

Judo is for people without friends. It's all about touch. You know, you're 40 and single, Judo sounds pretty good.
        —PhD in Exploitation (WOS 14)

It's spontaneous Saturday night sushi, baby.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

That which does not kill us makes us German.
        —PhD in Exploitation (WOS 14)

Of course it was bad. It takes a certain level of stupidity to eat $1 sushi. But I was happy.
        —PhD in Exploitation (WOS 14)

The problem with folk singers is they all want to develop.
        —PhD in Exploitation (WOS 14)

We bonded over honyokitudinal upbringings.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

I can't take my credit card debt into the desert.
        —Joseph Winterspirits (WOS 14)

Principled and intelligent is good. But mixed with hard-to-read and indecisive is weird. But they say weird is a compliment, right?
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I just wanted to escape 10am tension, stress and caffeine. I had no idea it would result in 3:36am crappy coffee, Denny's and a grand slam.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I realized also that walking through the freezing cold in the suburbs is not nearly as glamorous and exciting as it is in the city.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I can't be bribed, and I don't know what Chicken Vesuvio is.
        —Argosy Chick 21 (WOS 14)

How did I know that was a synagogue? I don't know. I guess my jewdar was going off.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

You know how often I've pushed my cuticles back? Never. And I haven't noticed my quality of life really deteriorating
        —Dallas College Station Ball Cap (WOS 14)

Because the thing is, if you can actually eat a burrito the size of your head, you've gotta be pretty fucked up.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

He can be taken out of many women's drains anytime.
        —Da Tuttle (WOS 14)

I'm a log launcher, and pretty soon it's going to be all "kilts ahoy!"
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

I KNOW some of your dark pastry secrets.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 14)

I didn't feel fully comfortable with Rainman spackling the bag.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

We do have a sumo. He's little, and he's blond.
        —Jannya (WOS 14)

Thank God it's big, because there's a lot of smell there that I like.
        —Miss Construed (WOS 14)

I just found a real nice ass-groove in this stone, and I'm happy about it.
        —Perspective (WOS 14)

Yes, my tuchas is in need of shaking soon.
        —One Funky Mother (WOS 14)

Mom, Daddy slobbered on my pheasant.
        —Loki's Little Cherub (WOS 14)

You two are the family bards.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 14)

I was NOT the homecoming queen... I was the floorshow queen. And he admitted I totally carried him on it.
        —Christmas (WOS 14)

Sometimes you can have the last word with your silence.
        —Ian (WOS 14)

Why is it that the laundry room, the one place solely dedicated to getting things cleaner, is always the dirtiest part of the house?
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

This stuff tastes like church coffee.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

It's like entropy just surrounds me as I focus all my energies into calling forth this one small item of order.
        —Still Searching (WOS 14)

One of those thin, liberal bitches. You know, the whole package.
        —KC Capers (WOS 14)

Please do confirm after submission. Thanks.
        —Loco Motion (WOS 14)

Always eat to the point of fullness that you still want to have sex.
        —The Chef of Bountiful Health (WOS 14)

Well, you've got to have people you're better than, don't you? That way you know how cool you are.
        —the dark penguin (WOS 14)

Perfectionism and paranoia aren't a good mix.
        —The Indomitable French Scientist Maiden (WOS 14)

I was frothing at the feral mouth.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

Rule number 1: People are stupid. Rule number 2: I am no exception to Rule number 1. Rule number 3: Rules are made to be broken. I try to live by Rule number 3 to counteract rule number 2. I hate it when people live by Rule number 3 in order to prove Rule number 1.
        —Husky Coffee Analyst (WOS 14)

The gods of hearing loss smiled upon me that day.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 14)

We didn't have time to let it get old.
        —Diametrically Drama (WOS 14)

It's like I'm always telling them -- they're not stains, they're memories.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 14)

Thinking in the shower one evening, I realized: do you want to be the hero or feel like the hero? They're usually two different things.
        —Ian (WOS 14)

Yeah, Mom just makes things suck.
        —The Queen of Bean (WOS 14)

She's got a sort of tenacious cuteness.
        —Perspective (WOS 14)

(Levi?) Oh, no. That gives me the willies. It makes me think of Children of the Corn and Mormons.
        —Geluk (WOS 14)

Are you talking to yourself? No, I'm shouting to myself. There's a difference, you know.
        —Cockney Fight Club (WOS 14)

I think I shall go to bed, because I have become sufficiently depressed with life. And sleep seems a better alternative to suicide -- it offers hope, doesn't it?
        —hg (WOS 14)

Aw, man, now I'll be sucking on squirrel vapors...
        —Geluk (WOS 14)

It was a 4-hour action romance where nobody got killed and nobody kissed. You've really got to hand it to those Indians.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

Baseball caps forward and back, cowboy hats on Indians, and Jewish profiles. My, how the dancing halls of the new millenium have changed.
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

Oh yeah, well, I will give any woman 30 seconds of the most memorable 3-inch rabbit thrusts she’s ever had.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 14)

How can you go from line dancing to Shaggy, now I ask you?
        —Nomad (WOS 14)

Life is hard. Some people can't do it.
        —Ian (WOS 14)

I refuse to perform until I am given my proper slather and lather.
        —Slathers Huckleberry (WOS 14)

I know the tendencies of your pubic hair.
        —The Wooly (WOS 14)

They would be majorly demoralized, especially without someone spitting on them anymore.
        —Stripes Morninglord (WOS 14)

You're not cheering on the Licorice.
        —Midnight in the Garden of Chaos and Weasels (WOS 14)

I walk in the Light.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

It's a fucking white donkey. Let it go.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

You bring a white donkey to my door in the morning, I know what you're telling me.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 14)

Sometimes the obvious pedophile is the least of your worries.
        —Malevolent (WOS 14)

We don't go easy on little lizards.
        —Stripes Morninglord (WOS 14)

We are in no mood for the bring-down.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

I Bernie-Mac-slap him.
        —Nikolai the Reckless (WOS 14)

I'm tired of the weight and responsibility of not being listened to.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 14)

Hey, share the cabin boy. I have slippers.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

Maybe if it’s possible for you to relax, it’s possible for me not to.
        —Erias (WOS 14)

I think impossibility is simply the limits we put upon ourselves in our own minds. If I had listened to impossibility, I never would have been here today.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

Cuz I ain’t goin’ into piracy like the rest of all you sell-outs.
        —Nikolai the Reckless (WOS 14)

Some people think that discipline limits you. But it is actually a whole different form of liberation and freedom within yourself.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

I think luck is just a word that we use because we can’t say anything else.
        —Rotten-Luck Remy Sharkfin (WOS 14)

I would make my morality more efficient.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 14)

We're all kings, friend, in one moment or another.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

Look at this 60-year-old punk kid thinking he's someBODY!
        —Stripes Morninglord (WOS 14)

It's going to be a magically mojo-less night.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 14)

Do we still have our 9 mills?
        —Bishop (WOS 14)

I'm feeling a little better, thank you very much, and I have a taste for testicles.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

Nonetheless, I'm still a hero.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 14)

So, we're in the god-making business.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

And I've delivered justice to many fish.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

Perhaps he feared my butler.
        —The Scarmaster (WOS 14)

Let's search out another avenue of default, shall we?
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

Sometimes commerce works in mysterious ways.
        —Miriam Weatherstaff (WOS 14)

My goddess is Jody Foster.
        —Miguel (WOS 14)

It's a standard flankin' plankton job, boys.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 14)

Monkey, squeeze my balls -- QUICK!
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

Damned infernal weed! Off me!
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

To ill effect, indeed. I, for example, am less the beer for it.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 14)

They were a helluva lot more resilient than I wanted to believe they could be.
        —Samson (WOS 14)

Dude, you're gonna get dribbled!
        —Cross (WOS 14)

Unless you want to Ro Sham Bo for it.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 14)

He's growing. We've got to get out of here before he pops!
        —Stripes Morninglord (WOS 14)

He's a gorilla-flavored meat puppet.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

You've got a license to meta-game.
        —The Scarmaster (WOS 14)

Let's see what kind of crops we're planting here.
        —The Midnight Magician (WOS 14)

We're a walking fucking holiday.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 14)

You've got to rule it with an iron fist (inside a velvet glove).
        —Phallic Cymbals (WOS 14)

You mean THIS mugger I've never seen?
        —Bable (WOS 14)

OO. Wow. That IS thick and rich, isn't it?
        —Cross (WOS 14)

Slick move, Ajax.
        —Bable (WOS 14)

Put that in your quotebook and smoke it.
        —Bable (WOS 14)

This dude doesn't need coffee. He needs to be punished.
        —Cross (WOS 14)

There are no payment plans here. The Afterlife is cheap -- you may not make it long.
        —Purgatorian (WOS 14)

What's the flavor of that wag?
        —Cross (WOS 14)

Ah, what the hell? You only live once when you're dead.
        —Bable (WOS 14)

No little kids are starving THIS month.
        —Rotten-Luck Remy Sharkfin (WOS 14)

If you are going to suckle at the breast of our creativity, you'd better play by our rules.
        —THE LOVE WARRIOR (WOS 14)

He just laid the dog bitch seed in you.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

What the hell's a wag flavin'? That sounds like some sort of food preservative.
        —Bable (WOS 14)

You are such your little son's bitch.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

I was detecting evil, not fondling it.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

And I personally respect all three of you and even you.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

You can buy a hat and get a wooden leg, but that doesn't make you the big pecker.
        —The Scarmaster (WOS 14)

I have, umm, no weapons against hornets.
        —Rotten-Luck Remy Sharkfin (WOS 14)

That's the thing about my guy: he's really good with his three inches.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

You almost hear his arachnid voice say, "I can't say anything because I'm a spider!"
        —The Scarmaster (WOS 14)

I have little faith in the abilities of fish to get us out of this cage.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

I'm going to hold that in a secured hit point loss location.
        —Elric Tremaine, the Nightspider (WOS 14)

You're like an honorary chit-chit.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 14)

Not all of us have been suckling at the teat of social advantage like the goblin.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

It's some form of otherworldly primal bullshit going on.
        —The Scarmaster (WOS 14)

You're like the black biker of FDR's with polio.
        —Luciano Ballantine (WOS 14)

Thanks for backing me in your own shitty way.
        —The Scarmaster (WOS 14)

Anything that changes the dynamic of death is cool.
        —Purgatorian (WOS 14)

Always check your synergies!
        —Rotten-Luck Remy Sharkfin (WOS 14)

This is 20 flavors of fucked up, right here.
        —Purgatorian (WOS 14)

This is like a Cthulhu spell-casting seminar.
        —Bable (WOS 14)

I like to have a wide breadth of plagiarism.
        —Ramas Fezim Mustafa (WOS 14)

You smell like cabbage, Ambassador.
        —Mangar of the Multeks (WOS 14)

If this su